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Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in
kundrith's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, April 13th, 2005 | | 4:20 pm |
LA -TI - DA
I am in the process of quitting smoking... Reason #1...It is for someone whom I love very much... he doesn't want to see me smoking and I think that I am starting to respect that...It SUCKS ...(notice the capital letters????) But I guess that if I lost him for good, I would be losing a really good thing. We have our whole lives to look forward to and I want to make him happy... Reason #2...I have control over practically nothing in my life and I am stronger than a freaking cigarette... Reason #3... I don't wanna die from cancer when it could be prevented... Reason #4...(the most important reason...) GAVYN LEE PATRICK see ya'll later...I love you Current Mood: creativeCurrent Music: johnny ray... walking in the rain...(don't ask) | | Monday, April 11th, 2005 | | 1:27 pm |
| | Thursday, April 7th, 2005 | | 4:17 pm |
I hate high school
courtney, I love you and all of our times... thanks for the laughs and the screwdrivers... ahh, german class...lol(amsterdam)...I will definitely get a hold of you and on to my next topic... you philo ppl will understand... Tiff, FUCK!!! You are so pitiful... why must you continuously put everyone down? It is so fucking pathetic. I just don't understand who made you think that your shit doesn't stink... Quit being so god damn closed minded... nobody ever said that myself or anyone is perfect... we all make mistakes, that it what makes us human beings...So next time you think about judging anyone, look at all of your imperfections. Damn! And you use the word hypocrite like you know what the fuck it means... And when everyone explains to you that when happened today WAS NOT hypocritical and was not putting you down in any way whatsoever, you stumble over your words and go pout in the fucking corner... Look in the mirror and if I am not mistaken, it will give you a full understanding of what the word hypocrite means...I mean honestly, GROW THE FUCK UP!!!! I guess that it is just really sad (and I suppose sort of comical) that you are damn near 19 years old and act like a fucking 3 year old!!! Okay, sorry everyone... I needed to vent Current Mood:  cranky | | Wednesday, April 6th, 2005 | | 1:19 pm |
CAKE
i got hungry and cake sounded good so ... it is my subject... anywho...I don't really have much to say... (much love to anita) My life has been kinda crazy this past week... Cory and I have been arguing about stupid stuff and I guess that I don't care a whole lot... He thinks that it is more serious than it is... we are just supposed to be having a good time.. and it is turning into a big disaster... we are just friends!!! He just is too obsessed...ahhhh I am def not down for a relationship!!!! There is only one person that I wanna be with and it is kinda on hold right now... I don't wanna mess it up.. I know that its kinda hard to mess something up that you don't have ...I guess... but just in case... I don't wanna fall in love with Cory and I am afraid that he feels like we should step forward... I just can't say that we are "together" because even if we did get together, My heart would be elsewhere... I don't wanna let him down especially because he is leaving...(that is the complicated part...) Moving on... Everyone go laser bowling on Friday... It would be peachy to see you!!well, I have to get back to work... I have to take anita to work later and I have to pick up rickie... he wants me to take him to Cool Beans...(its a coffee shop in cambridge) then I am goin tanning... and picking rickie back up... IDK what else is in store for today... So I will see ya'll soon enough! Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: phones ringing...grrr | | Friday, April 1st, 2005 | | 4:27 pm |
A day in my shoes
well, I guess that the subject of this entry has absolutely no relevance to what I am typing now but it does mean something... someone really made me realize last night who I am and what I don't want out of my life... a lot of things seem pointless right now but a lot of you have shoved in my face numerous times that I am a strong person. So I think that I am finally believing it... things don't always turn out the way that you plan and I am starting to think that maybe they ever do... but if you all don't remember anything else that I have said to you... remember this... "Keep your chin up and never give up. Although it may be the hardest decision that you ever have to make, there comes a time that you must let it all go and swallow your words." But always have faith and stay strong for others as I have for you... you all have been the greatest friends that I have ever had and thanks... My eyes are open now though and some of you know who this was all about (I am sure missy does)... I don't want any I told you so's damn it... lmao But it will work out in the end I swear...mark my words missy ann... or I guess that maybe I am marking yours... :) well, this is getting dumb so I am gonna go love Current Mood:  confusedCurrent Music: aint too proud to beg ... the temptations | | Tuesday, March 29th, 2005 | | 4:26 pm |
hey all you philo ppl
hey guys... it was good to see you all today... especially patrick... I love you all... guess that I don't really have much to say... but take care and see you all at prom (prolly the next time I will see you)By the way, when is prom at philo???? umm... there is a party in caldwell saturday at my girl vicki's house... I don't know if I will be there or not seeing as I don't drink anymore...But who knows, I might make an appearance... Call me to get the details about it's whereabouts... if enough of you plan on going... I am sure that I wouldn't pass it up... But call... there are gonna be a couple of kegs there and some liquor but ya'll can BYOB to add to the stash... It seems like it will be a pretty big turn out... call me for details... if you don't have my number, ask Missy Rice... later Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: crossfade----cold | | Monday, March 28th, 2005 | | 4:13 pm |
yep... I'm a back door man....lmao... ok, maybe I am not a man...but...nevermind...
This is a tribute to my friend... you guessed it... Whitney Marie Kieffer McLain Well, as I sit here and look at my hands, one person comes to mind... and two words... McLain Rules... Oh yeah, and Butter Ball...( no dumb ass, not as in a fat guy, as in a turkey... you are a turkey ) Anywho... wow, that felt good (don't ask) moving on...I think that I will speak of some of our old times... If you all don't understand, you prolly shouldn't ask I love Chunky Soup and rubber duckies just the same(I thought that I would add the rubber duckies part even if it is totally irrelevant to anything that I am about to say)...Oh, and I love stacker 3's (remember that Whit?.. and Jay and Silent Bobb?) You were so.... messd up... Oh, and one night spending the night outside laying under newspapers... we were still laughing although it sucked... my dad was so drunk that he locked the door and passed out or something... We felt homeless... We learned how warm an advertiser could be and how ppl who live on the street can stay warm... lol Come on Tina, ya fat lard, come and get some dinner...gosh wow I just realize how cracked out I am... but what does that make you?... you used to be the drugfree stoner... then you really started using...lol...what the hell happened? I still love you though... I love cookie dough and sitting in freezers at DQ chipping out the ice... I like to move it move it...no... just kidding, that is a song... not a very good one though... speaking of song, I want my 80's tape back...just kidding... you took that right off my hands... I love inflatable Amy and going canoeing in plether skirts with hockey sticks and wiffle balls... I love jumping off of cliffs and being scared we were gonna get kicked out of gym class... that was awesome... Oh, and I love pepsi...we had so much fun... oh, and remember the time when we rubbed our bare asses together..? or did you try to forget...? and running through camp in our bras and squishing our stomachs together(bloop) Then I got you to the point of quitting band after I almost kicked your ass at that football game... the cops took me out kicking and screaming all of the way... I sat in that cop car for like 2 hours until I finally shut up... you ran all the way home like a pansy...lol(just kidding) JUST TO CLEAR THIS UP EVERYONE... WHITNEY MCLAIN IS NOT A PANSY... But in spite of our stupid past arguements, You're still one of the greatest friends I have ever had...The bottom line s that I love you And I hope nothing comes between us ever again... Thanks for everything... Anywho... when are we gonna go 4 wheelin with the guys? well, words are runnning short so I have to go... I love you man!!!! peace out white girl... you are my zero and the wind beneath my wings...lmao P.S. Look on the bright side... atleast you don't look like someone hit you with a 20 lb bag of what the fuck!!!!... P.S.S. I know what you did last summer... You played with men who like to play with whips... AND... you sang about cheese making the world go 'round and about something that starts with an "A" and ends with a "K" A.K.A. an ardvark Current Mood: artisticCurrent Music: the Doors ... 20th century fox ..( thats whita) | | Sunday, March 20th, 2005 | | 8:58 pm |
hey everyone...
hey everyone... my life has been crazy for a while now... gavyn is one as of st. patty's day!!! I know, it is hard to believe... I have been dating this guy for a little while now on and off... he wants me and gavyn to move to mississippi with him in may after I graduate... I don't know what to do... I would kind of like to go but I can't leave a certain someone for more than one reason... obviously, chris and I broke up... we're still friends though... we tried it like 3 times and we just don't work out...anywho... well, everyone take care.... and post on my journal and let me know whats going on with you all... I love you everyone and take care... dada, gavyn loves you Current Mood: cynicalCurrent Music: the distillers | | Thursday, August 26th, 2004 | | 1:27 pm |
OKay
A lot has been going on right now in my life...More than I can really talk about right now. I am real confused right now and I don't really know what to say to a certain person other than I am sorry. I know that I "guaranteed" him that I wouldn't hurt him. And if I did, I am sorry. I know that things are complicated and I don't even know exactly whats goin on.All that I know is that I don't want him to get into any trouble. I know that he probably doesn't want to be in any either. I love him with everything I am and everything I want to be. He knows that. I am just kind of caught between a rock in a hard place.I know that before when I didn't call, he took it as if I didn't care. But its not like that at all. It's so much more complicated. I am just stuck. I want to call but I can't step foot out of my house barely. And I am not allowed to even talk to anyone on the phone from muskingum county. Harsh huh?... But it wont last a whole lot longer so I guess as soon as I get the chance.... I am scared for him. I wish I knew what he wanted me to do... But I don't... I have been doin' a lot of serious thinking and I think I know what I will do about the whole situation. But I wont post it on here. Any advice? And to Amber... look, I never doubted you when you told me all the stuff about missy and the lunch line and all her a mysti say about me. But now, I know who really cares. I know that miss and myst are close to me although mysti and I have had some tough times... But besides the point. I trusted you. I never said I wanted ryan. I said that we had a fun relationship and I wouldn't take it back but I didn't say I wanted him...And Britt knows that... And that wasn't the whole reason i was angry... It was over you telling Brittany that I said I punched her in the face... Thats a little pathetic. /so don't act like you're hard and you're gonna do somethin'just because now everyone knows how big of a caniving person you are. thanks...anywho...Gavyn weighs 16 pounds now 26 inches long... He is 5 months.... I love you all... HELP | | Sunday, June 6th, 2004 | | 9:33 am |
The Dresslers
Hey everyone... Come to Da House in Cambridge tonight to see the dresslers and doomascus... ( It's 3 bucks ) They are playing at 6:00... ( till about 8:00 ) Here are directions: Get off the interstate at exit 209 Take a left Go about 2 miles till you get to the Court house Take a left... You can't miss it! I'm looking forward to see ya'll And especially one person who last night told me he wasn't coming!... So come and see me!!!! Anywho.. I gotta go to church... Love ya'll | | Friday, June 4th, 2004 | | 10:47 am |
Heather, Call me......685-6334
Don't I feel like a complete asshole now... yeah... You always did know how to make me feel bad...LoL Anywho. By the way, I called you yesterday and you did not answer. I have been really bummed out lately and I am sorry for assuming things... I just needed to find a scapegoat for all of my problems... You just seemed like the perfect target just because you are pretty much out of my life.. All though I wish things could be different.. Maybe someday. In all actuality, I really thought that it was you that has caused me problems... THe reason why we aren't together... But I guess there are other people to blame...People like myself... Yes, I have thrown a few stones in my day... Mostly at you. I don't really know why. I guess it was out of anger. I didn't realize what I had.. I guess that I could have tried harder. (Like you once said...) I am just sad and I'm sorry. I know that you loved me or maybe still do for that matter. Well, I know you still do... You're the one who told me that love doesn't go away, Its just not that simple... I did pay attention and maybe I learned a lot... A lot that only you could have taught me. And I really thank you for that. I still can only dream of our day. ... You did always tell me that you would marry me...I am not playing "pitty party"...Because I know that's what you are thinking... I am simply telling you how I feel since we don't talk. I would love to talk to you. I would love to be in your arms again. That was always the best feeling in the world. You were and always will be the only one in my heart. I just wish there was some kind of action I could do to show you the extent of my feelings. But you already know. You know how I feel... You know that if I could, I would be beside you. As soon as I can I will come and see you. But that is only if you want me to... I don't ever want to do anything to hurt you again. It's time that I think about you for a change... I am sorry from the bottom of my heart. I guess its too late for that...I love you Current Mood:  numb | | Sunday, May 23rd, 2004 | | 6:56 pm |
well.....
Heather... I really love you. Michael...you are mean..... I am no longer talking to my dad...he told my gramma to go to hell so, I don't really have very many nice feelings about him right now... anywho... School is almost over. I don't know if I'll make it to everyones graduation party. I am suposed to stay at corys next weekend but like that will happen. Its really wierd how easy going my mom has been lately... I am actually allowed out of the house. I guess it is partly because I live here now though.Anyway. I really like cory but I don't know about everything yet.... He is starting college in the fall and I want an all the time boyfriend... Not just when he comes home for breaks. I don't know... I have been dating a few ppl but I am in love with a certain person and it is hard to try and start a family with someone else. I'm afraid that it will never work out though. I guess I got the best of him. I really wanted to talk to him the day he called. But its too painful to hear his voice. And after all I have heard he says and what he wrote on my babys hospital web page...(that was low)...and after being with TWO of the best friends I have ever had... I still love him. I always will. He was my first and only REAL love. I guess he didn't care as much as he claimed... And mysti... You better pray that I never see you out anywhere because I swear to God, you will be so sorry.And you know you will too. But I guess I will see you at graduation. I just suggest that you keep a distance between us.I just think that its sad that ppl act like they care...and then act like twelve year olds and do things behind other ppls backs. I guess it wasn't the 1st time you knifed me in the back though.Why am I even surprised? What happened to the 4 leaf clover stuff? anywho... My mom is really sick so if you guys could pray for her, I would really appreciate it. She needs it. Other than the crap part of my life... Everything is going okay... Gavyn is getting fat... He weighs a little over 11 pounds now... Well, this is about it...I love you all talk to you later Current Music: Redneck woman...Gretchen Wilson | | Wednesday, May 19th, 2004 | | 8:43 pm |
Jamie...
To Jamie... You call me...685-6334...or anyone else who needs directions and/or wants to come.. I will try to make it to you guys graduation parties...( I am bringing better than chocolate... and we are ordering pizza...but I wont pass out this time...lol )...Jo...and Heather, I love you | | Tuesday, May 18th, 2004 | | 4:40 pm |
the life of Britt
Yup,Its pretty interesting... I got screwed over by a good friend... I hate to say it. No, I really hate to say it. But Michael was right. He told me that she was no good and never liked her but I couldn't see why. Now I know.. Anywho, Better Subjects... There is this teen club up here in Cambridge.. Its called Da House... Its on Wheeling Ave... Anyway, the dresslers are playing there on JUNE 6TH AT 6:00! After the show, My girl Victoria is having a bond fire in Senecaville! If anyone is interested, Call me... Its gonna rock! A bunch of people from noble county are gonna be there...You all should think about going. Its gonna be a pretty good show! I am so glad that this school year is almost over! The summer is gonna be so much fun. I can't wait. I am gonna be spending most of the summer at my dads. He has been sober for 200 and some days. Its nice actually having a father. I am hoping to see all of you... Especially my honey bunches of oates... But thats a different subject! Anywho. Talk to you all soon! I gotta get uff of here. I have things to do! Gavyn Rolled over on Saturday... He is 2 months and one day already... I can't believe it... Love you all...xoxo Current Mood: dorkyCurrent Music: Wonderwall...Oasis | | Thursday, May 6th, 2004 | | 5:58 pm |
What a day!
Hey everyone... It has been like forever since I have written in this. I guess a whole lot has happened since my last entry. I am a mommy! Gavyn Lee Patrick! He is so precious. He was born on St. Patty's day... He weighed 5lbs, 8oz....19 inches long. He is such a sweetie pie! He is around 12 lbs now... go to www.growingfamily.com to the web nursury and you can see him! I went to this place called Ore's today ( this ice cream place in camebridge ) with Kari... She rocks! She is one of the awesome ppl that I hang out with here. I am such a geek. Saturday, I am going to the play down in Philo. ummmmmm....I got my hair cut.I mean really cut. As for my love life... I am really missing someone but I am very angry with him at the time being. I really thought that he was the one. But I guess I have moved on ( all though he will always own my heart) I am hurt but not so much that I can't go on. I think that this guy Cory ( from john glenn ) and I are really hitting it off. And he is really good to my little peanut...(Gavyn)... That is the most important thing to me now. I have grown up so much. I finally found who I am ( atleast I think I did ) No more childish games. I guess that when I became a mom, I became an adult.I am happy and I thought that you all would like to know that. If ya'll go to the play on Saturday to see my best friend Cody sing... You might see Me, Gavyn,Cory, and maybe my mom there...( But I doubt my mom ) We are getting along really well now.Miss, You have to meet Cory... ( I need you're approval...LoL ) well, e mail me everyone. I love you and miss you very much... I hope you are doing well... I'll pt some pics of Gavyn on here ASAP! Current Mood: chipperCurrent Music: none!!!!!!!!! | | Monday, March 15th, 2004 | | 10:29 am |
I am back
You guys are all dorks . But that is why I love you all....LoL I have got to talk to you miss. I will call you here in a min. There is a big misunderstanding. I suppose I will write again. I have nothing else to do. umm....I am getting ready to leave. And then we are having a cookout type deal. I love you courtney( my number one cuz ) ! I didnt eat any bad corn.... to those of you...( cough...one who thinks he is God )who think I did... You better think again. Wouldnt you just die if that reallly happened? Never mind. I guess that my grandparents are gonna be back from church here in a few. I dont know why I am awake... It is tooo early. Hey, I wish you would quit makin fun of better than chocolate. There is nothing wrong with that. ( gheen, you should have seen your face...)Anywho. I gotta go. Talk to ya'll soon! Current Mood: amusedCurrent Music: none | | Sunday, March 14th, 2004 | | 1:55 pm |
hey
I have only written in this thing 2 times. I guess I just dont have time or something of that nature. I am doing ok for those of you who care. I havent heard from many ppl. If ya'll wanna talk to me. call missy, she has my number. I guess I talk to some of you but not as many as I would like to. And miss, you need to call me. Anywho: I was supposed to come to town this weekend to see a specific person whom I havent seen in a while. It doesnt look like that is going to happen. I have a busy day tomorrow and it is busy in Byesville, not zanesville. We can make plans if you wish to.(for next weekend ) I will get into contact with you as soon as I can.( I love ya ) Anywho: again... I am getting closer to my due date guys! Ahhhh. Can you believe that I am gonna be a mommy? I know. It is hard to believe. Sometimes I wonder if I am dreaming...But then I realize that I am awake. I really am getting anxious. Every day seems like it was longer than the last. But I am managing even without all of you.at least trying... :( We need to get together everyone.! I have made quite a lot of friends up here but they dont compare to my ex fellow band fags...LoL! And everyone else. I go to the movies a lot but, that is the only thing to do up here besides bowling.... And you know how well I get a long with bowling balls...( thanks Sammy...LOL ) Well, I am gonna go now. I have a lot to say but no time. I am getting ready to leave. Talk to you soon....I love you....Bites and kisses back to you ( you know who you are )LoL! Current Mood:  gigglyCurrent Music: Zombie... ( I love the cranberries ) | | Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004 | | 2:39 pm |
Hey everyone
I love you guys.. I will write more later! I might talk to some of you tonight because I will be in town... ( maybe ) I love you miss! | | Saturday, January 31st, 2004 | | 7:43 pm |
Another day
Well, this is the first entry in my journal. I really wanted this thing because I live so far away now and seldom talk to you people. Most everyone I know has a live journal and I thought that this would make it easy to communicate with ya'll. I like it up here though I get depressed a lot being away from everything/one important in my life. I have made new friends and I have a lot of fun with them but they are not the same as my fellow Philo people. I would say that I miss you all ( I would use names ) but it would be hard to list everyone. I am holding up okay. I love my grandparents dearly and they are so good to me. I never realized how much they cared. I am sorry to all of you in which I have taken for granted. I know now how important all of you were/are to me. I know that this is going on and on but I do have a lot to say since I havent seen you guys forever. Today was pretty sad because I didnt get to the cemetary... But all is good I guess. The last three weekends, I was supposed to be at my dads but with the snow and other things, it has been virtually impossible. And to one person that I dont know if he will read this... But you know who you are. I love you and miss you. ( call me )If you can hold on through February, I will have my license by the end of this month. Mom is supposed to sign me up for drivers ed within the next week. If anyone needs my number, Missy has it. PLease call !! I am dying to talk to you. I have no money to purchase a calling card. I left out a lot.. But I really have to go... I have got to do math. I love you all... especially one person... PLease call me! ( missy, you are the cheese.. I love you to the stars... ) Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: my little friends in my head ? |
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